In that dependency fall person who does not have enough love for themselves and seeks it out. From that arises a vicious circle of toxic relationships
of which, fortunately, there is a way out.
Signs of a Toxic Relationship
Each of the members of the relationship has their ideas and their way of understanding the world and life, and it is not always easy to understand the position of the other.
However, with love and with the mastery of a series of social skills, as well as with a good dose of resilience and negotiation skills, the relationship can be successful.
There are your efforts repeatedly before the indifference of your partner, the crises of tears, the friends who go away … It is necessary to be able to share things, but also to decipher what can show that you are in a relationship Toxic, understand a relationship that destroys you.
A romantic relationship must allow you to flourish. If at any point you feel that it is pulling you down, rather than going up, there is a problem. Especially if you are the victim of verbal and/or physical violence from your partner.
Do not hesitate in these conditions and talk to someone close to you. The withdrawal into oneself when in a relationship, the fear of the other, but also the lack of self-confidence are the first alarming signs that this relationship is destructive.
Signs of a Toxic Relationship
Sometimes, however, being in a couple can be real hell, because toxic love makes it impossible for things to go well. Toxic relationships have the characteristic that at least one member of the relationship has totally improper behaviors and attitudes.
The lover who gives pure love struggles for his personal development and expects nothing from the couple, because he is happy with his life. Toxic love, on the other hand, is characterized because the individual seeks safety, stability, comfort in the couple’s relationship. This is due to a great fear of being alone and great insecurity. They are individuals with low self-confidence.
This insecurity makes the person feel a great emotional dependence because their happiness depends on other individuals. This becomes a problematic situation and causes addiction to the couple even though things between both members do not go well.
- Obsession with the Relationship:
All these factors make the person become obsessed with the relationship so that it does not let the couple breathe. Nor does it carry out healthy behaviors that help maintain the stability of the relationship. For example, it does not negotiate or respect the other. So it is impossible for the couple or marriage to move on.
Healthy love is based on trust between the two members of the couple, is based on freedom of choice. However, toxic love is the opposite, because it is possessive. The individual needs to have controlled the couple at all times and know what he does and where he goes.
Love should not cause suffering, because when this happens it is not authentic love. If love is true, the relationship is symmetrical: one day gives one and the next gives the other member of the couple.
Obviously, there may be misunderstandings and discussions, but they are solved in a mature way. The question is simple: Does this love make you suffer? If the answer is yes, then it is a toxic love.
- You lack confidence in yourself:
Assert yourself in front of your parents, your loved ones, your partner is important. Because you learn to make your own choices, make your decisions and build yourself as a woman. But, it is possible that (without fatally realizing it), you lose your means before the loved one.
You fear his reaction, of not being up to the task and you let yourself be “guided”. In short, you are no longer yourself and it is really when you are alone that you feel good. It’s the strategy of a toxic person.
- Your partner takes you away from your loved ones:
It is very important to stay close to your friends. If, on the contrary, you feel that your relationship is moving away from you, that’s not a good sign. It can happen that your friends do not get along with your partner for several reasons.
But from the moment he prevents you from seeing them or does everything to get you away from him, he/she goes over the mark. Result: you are dependent on your darling and can only talk with him. Be vigilant
, it’s very nice to be in love and to be in your cocoon of love, but it should never discard you from your friends and family.
- You seek his approval constantly:
This is part of your partner’s handling: make yourself totally dependent on him/her. So, you do not dare to try anything or act in such a way, for fear of disappointing him. You are afraid of his reaction, even if it is a choice that does not concern him: go to sleep at a friend’s house, choose a certain option in high school or an extra-school sport.
- It is irrational and unrealistic:
Unlike what could happen in a mature and authentic love, rational and realistic love, that is, in which the person is aware of what he is living and not only feels but also thinks, toxic love is purely a love irrational in the most negative sense that this can have, because it lives on illusion and unreal expectations. For a love
to work it must be mature.